Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi

The Big Idea: the key to success in life is relationships + creating with others.

• Real networking is about helping others succeed.
• Make goal setting a lifetime habit.
• Young Bill Clinton would record the names and backgrounds of everyone he met on index cards.
• Older Bill Clinton is famous for creating instant rapport with everyone who meets him.
• Build your network long before you need it.
• Before you meet someone, always do your homework (personal, professional, hobbies, company.)
• Invest time in organizing your contacts using databases and LinkedIn.
• Learn how to make a warm call. Never cold call.
• Learn how to send a warm email. Never cold email.
• Treat the gatekeeper with warmth.
• Keep your social+work calendar full of events.
• Formal networking events are lame. Instead, network on planes, at the YMCA, at church, at conferences, at dinner parties, at charity fundraisers, etc.
• Good follow-up will separate you from everyone else. Develop a system for following up, thanking others, and finish with “next step.”
• The real value of conference is not the content, it’s the networking. Do your research on the attendees, organize meta-events, or help the conference organizers.
• Nourish your relationships with super-connectors.
• Small talk is underrated as a way to connect with others.
• Take the time to understand what motivates someone. Usually, it’s: health, wealth, or children. Help others achieve their goals.
• Real power comes from being indispensable. Help to connect others. It costs you nothing but might change others’ lives.
• When you hear someone has a problem, try to think how an introduction you make might lead to a solution.
• Always be pinging. Pinging takes effort. Create an automated system for pinging.
• An anchor tenant is someone particularly unique or interesting to make your dinner parties memorable for everyone.
• Arrange regular dinner parties to connect people.
• The main value of social networking is curation and learning of knowledge.
• Robert Scoble is very selective about who he follows. Through this, Scoble stays on top of key trends in technology and then curates information to his followers. He is so effective at doing this and adds so much value that his time is in great demand from venture capitalists and business leaders.
• Have a large, diverse social network and a small core of intimate relationships.
• The best online networking crosses back and forth between virtual and in-person.
• Don’t waste time trying to connect to the obvious mega-celebrity. Invest your energy connecting with the rising micro-celebrity. Connect with him before anyone else knows him.
• When sharing content online, it’s better to be authentic, vulnerable, and candid.
• When appropriate, co-create content to widen your audience.
• Lucky people know how to engineer luck by creating a broad network that funnels opportunities their way.
• If you don’t want to be in Silicon Valley, New York City, or Los Angeles, travel frequently, attend conferences, and connect online.
• If you plan your whole life, by definition, you can’t get lucky.
• As a leader, focus less on “todo” lists and more on “to-meet” lists.
• Be an interesting person yourself by developing hobbies, reading voraciously, and having new experiences.
• Remember that journalists are hungry for ideas. Develop those relationships early and ping regularly.
• The best way to become an expert in a topic is to teach it.
• Your message to journalists and the public must be both simple and universal.
• In an economy that values emotion over numbers, storytellers have an edge.
• Be the guardian of your own personal brand.
• The best strategy for producing viral content is curation, not creation.
• A PR firm can help you connect to journalists, but you’re the one they should be talking to.
• Get closer to influence by joining Young Presidents’ Organization (YPO), attending political fundraisers, and participating in charity fundraisers.
• Mentors are another key to success. They teach skills and also make valuable connections.
• Mentors expect gratitude and application of what they have taught.
• For leaders in today’s connected age, balance is a myth. Successful leaders blend professional into personal as one.
• Remember that people are hungry for meaning.
• Stay focused on the big picture and helping others.